When Reality Kicks In
A few days ago, my family was talking about the future plans and my parents reminded us to be secured by at least having a house of our own and a business that will suffice our lives for the next 20-30 years.
That part of being a grown up is all too scary that you have to hustle by yourself to acquire the comfortable life for you (and your soon-to-be-family). It scared the hell out of me that there are a lot of things I need to do and responsibilities I have to ponder about. I never realized that it is going to be this massive that I want to just hide and die because I really hate complicated stuff, most especially anything that deals with LIFE.
It came to a point that I made this make-believe world where I would be always imagine that my life is perfect and everything will fall into place on its own. That was my comfort zone, my safe haven, my security. But eventually it got boring and I was tumbling down with no direction at all. That really troubled me and I got depressed. Yeah, DEPRESSED. I wasn't even trying to fix my so-called "perfect" life, hence, I was making it worse. I really despised growing up. I want to live in my fantasy world for the rest of my life and just don't give a hell about anything. My life was a complete mess. For a time I was idealistic. All my past jobs and endeavors made it more awful. Self-esteem down to the lowest level.
So here it is, after some time of meditation and relaxation, I realized it isn't too late to start over again. After all the hurly-burly that happened, I got back on my feet and did the unthinkable... to challenge myself to do the things I dared not do. Even doing blogs were something I hated to do even if people were telling me that I could write superb essays. Making a website (with free access) was something I was even lazy to start with. Anything was difficult for me in the start until I changed my mindset.
Besides my private tutorials with my students, reestablishing my business was a breather for me. I can both write and update my business both at the same time. I can teach and learn in just one seating. It is fulfilling and wonderful because I am up and about again. There are still times I am just not sure if this is worth it, when life gets a hold of me, but I stick to my desire to succeed.
This is life and this is what you call REALITY. You can never escape it. Even the richest people in this world cant get away with reality, with more debts, mortgages and vices they have to deal with it, one way or another. It's just that they are there on top and I am still on the 90% of earth's population of trying to make it big. But hey I have a goal and I have dreams and I will make those dreams my REALITY.
P.S.
I am not really in the mood to write but I made this. I am so proud of myself! Thank you. :)
DISCLAIMER: Photos not ours. Credits to the owner/s.
